food for thought

i wonder if it's a matter of convincing myself to work out. at this point i have so many people on my side rooting me on that if i dont do things to better myself i will consider myself quite pathetic. egh. the potential is all there baby. i have to also consider that my problems, especially this weight issue, are shallow and small in nature - inherently. weight isnt a debilitating disease, massive debt, nor anything else tramatic.. its just weight. my metabolism is that of a normal person, so all i have to do is regulate in order to bounce back.

america loves come backs anyway. ;-)

self regulating. think on that.

first day - FAIL

read it and weap. i am a lazy turd. :-(

day one, i guess

tomorrow will be day one into getting healthy again. i must remember that time is a friend, not a foe, and that exercising will be spiritually satisfying. not only that, it will reap results. it is necessary for me to develop habits that are healthy so that i can be satisfied with my life... watching myself atrophy is not the scenery i envisioned for myself. what is it with food anyway? i think food was a short term obsession because i have nothing better to obsess over, and maybe with my personality i need something to obsess over... so i must suppliment myself - give me books, running, song, anything.... what can i fill my time with when i have no transportation, money or friends? well, excercise for one, and secondly, meditation. if i get these two things down, i think i will have given myself a great leap forward in settling down. tomorrow - 1) i will eat no more than three meals, and each meal will be appropriately sized and eaten at the proper time, 2) i will run an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening, or walk for two hours, 3) 100 sit ups.

the day will be sectioned like this:

10am - wake up, get dressed for work out
11am - walk/run for an hour
12pm - make potatoes for the first meal
1pm-5pm - read and write, get online
5pm - meditate for one hour
6pm-8pm - make dinner and watch television
8pm - walk/run for two hours
10pm - bed

seems easy enough. lets see if i can swing it. this has me down for two meals, which i think can be doable. i must i must control my eating!!!! wooopiee!!!

peace out,
C

the ugly duckling

it's two days into my weight loss experiment and i'm failing miserably. miserably. i dont know why food appeals to me the way it does but im quite sure it has to do with my extensive boredom..
the inclination is a lazy one; i cant believe something so silly is taking over my mind but alas - i just need to keep in mind the ugly duckling story.. some day it turns into a beautiful swan.

so shall I !!!!!!!!